October 16, 2019
On this day in 2010 I was on my flight to the very same Annual Leadership Conference that I am on my way to today. It was the moment I pushed my chips ALL IN on my new coaching career by turning down a $2,000 promotional gig for something that was going to cost me my entire previous month’s coaching commission (about $700) just to travel to attend. To add to the risk, in that very moment I was living in a home that was in the midst of being foreclosed on. There was no telling if we’d be officially booted in 3 days, 30 days or 3 months… but the impending loss weighed HEAVILY on me as I looked into the face of my then one year old little girl and chose OPPORTUNITY over GUARANTEED PROFITS, likely for the first time ever.
My head said I was absolutely OUT OF MY MIND (& I think my husband agreed) but my HEART raced with a mix of anxiousness & excitement as I finished my ritual “take-off prayer” and the wheels of my plane to Dallas began to lift off the runway, flying me towards my future filled with so many unknowns, but yet a PULL & PEACE that felt like only God could be at the center of it.
As I arrived to the hotel and walked into the ballroom, I scanned for familiar faces (like all introverts do!). It hit me like a ton of bricks… I knew no one, and was 100% sure NO ONE KNEW ME. My stomach immediately knotted up with the nauseous feeling I always seem to get anytime I am putting myself at risk of severe embarrassment and rejection. Doubt & fear grabbed the reigns and flooded my mind with all of the reasons I wasn’t qualified to be there:
“You are NOT a leader… You held “DIAMOND” for ONE week and then dropped. FAKE!”
“If they only knew you were losing your house… Wow. What are you thinking?!?!”
“Oh my gosh, you should have taken the guaranteed money! Your family NEEDS it! You’re a BAD MOM!”
“No one will like you… they will judge you immediately and want nothing to do with you!”
“You are on a dead leg, make no money doing this… Who do you think you are?”
Isn’t it crazy how the terror WITHIN us is so much greater than anything else we might experience?
I B-lined to the bathroom (where I typically go for some good ole fashioned self-talk) and reminded myself of WHY I was there in the first place:
“You ARE a leader, though right now only to a few, but you are putting in the work and leading from the front so that others can follow.”
“You are losing your home, but that is a result of past choices and this risk is to build a better future for your family!”
“You will be OK! That money would only be a BANDAID and is NOT in alignment with who God is calling you to become. THIS IS. He always provides.”
“They MAY judge you initially, but be KIND, OPEN and ENGAGING & show them who you really are.”
“You are only a few months in and you started with no experience, so embrace that it will take time, but remember where you CAN and WILL take this! The PAY-OFF longterm is WORTH IT!
… and indeed it was. This year’s Leadership Conference will be my 10TH. TENTH!!! This year I will walk in as one of the few selected to speak on stage, but best of all, I will share that stage with other teammates and not only have many of my own leaders in attendance, but those leaders will have THEIR own leaders there as well! GENERATIONS of businesses formed and lives changed.
Hard to say if that would be the case had I chosen not to take a risk on OPPORTUNITY over the guaranteed income in October 2010 and pushed THROUGH the fears and doubts about who I was and what I was capable of when the flood gates opened as I walked into that packed room of complete strangers.
When you meet a fork in the road of your life, don’t just continue to head down the path of least resistance because it seems to be the smoothest.That path is typically a lazy river taking you in circles.Take the path that will take you the furthest longterm and shape you into the rapid navigating rockstar that God created you to be. If it seems rougher than you think can handle on your own… GOOD! That’s when we HAVE TO rely on God & that’s how He’d prefer it anyway! 😉
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